I am often asked what my thought process is while playing a (larger-scale) online tournament, so for anyone that has ever wondered, this is for you. On Sunday I played the 400k guaranteed tournament at Full Tilt, and wrote down my thoughts as I was playing. Not exactly live blogging, but definitely the closest I have come to it. Some of it is in point form, some of it is in more concrete sentences, but all of it is exactly how I was feeling at the time. I am going to ruin the ending for you though - I did not cash in this tournament. Here we go:

400k guaranteed tourney at FTP:
2576 entrants
351 places paid
$216 entry fee
351 place earns $309.12
1st place earns $94,513.44
Starting chip count: 3000
Blinds increase every 12 minutes
Top 13.6% of the field gets paid

Deep stack tournaments suit my style of play. There are enough chips to sit back and wait for opportunities. I didn't play my first hand until 8 minutes in when I was dealt AA in early position. The table folded to my 4x BB raise, and I was dealt QQ the very next hand. Five people stayed in for this one, pretty much making the ace on the board negate my hand completely.

Fourteen minutes in I was dealt KTc in the SB, so I limped in for 15 more chips. The flop came AA5 double suited in clubs, so UTG I made a value bet of 90. I was called by two players and was ready to give up the hand after that, figuring at least one of them had the A. The turn was a T, and the river was a 5. Both streets were checked around and I ended up winning the pot with top 2 pair much to my surprise. Sitting at 3240 I was feeling pretty comfortable to sit back for a few more rounds and wait for cards or a positional opportunity.

15 minutes in, 140 casualties.
19 minutes in I limp in early position with two black 7's, but they do me no good on a board of KQ5. I am reminded why I don't often limp in early position with a low pocket pair. Of course, had another 7 hit I would be waxing poetic on the benefits thereof, but that is the nature of the game. Fortunately it only cost me 40 chips to find out they were dominated.

Regardless of how this tournament ends up, right now I know that I'm playing with a clear head and feel relaxed and in control of whatever situation arises. I haven't felt that in tournaments in a long time. (Which would explain why I haven't played many in recent months.)

I am dealt T6h in the BB, and am able to check. Flop comes 46T with two clubs and UTG bets out 150. I raise to 450 and am called by the person after me. The original bettor folds and the turn card is another 4, but doesn't help the flush draw. I am confident I am good at this point so bet out 1100 and he folds. I collect my 1300 and sit comfortably with 3915.

30 minutes in, 338 casualties. Blinds are now 25/50.

Chip leader has T13,000, and some poor soul is left with only T15. All I can think is that I am glad that isn't me.

I am dealt AQ in early position, and raise the blind 3x. Two players call me and the board totally misses my hand. I am under the gun fire out a bet anyways, but it is raised and then raised all-in by the third player. I tuck my tail between my legs and scamper off quietly, though I would have caught an A on the river to take down the entire pot. Sometimes the right play is the one that hurts the most.

Within a few minutes I win back-to-back pots in quick succession and recover my losses when I am dealt another pair of aces (no contest), followed by A6 that remains good on a board of AA7. I am nervous now - I am getting too many good hands early, this cannot be a good sign. In multi-table tournaments I am happy to play (and win) about 3 or 4 hands in the first hour. That usually gives me enough of a stack to be in great shape after the first break. I would rather be dealt my good cards later on when the blinds are high.

Next, the table folds around to my pocket tens and 45 minutes in I am sitting above average with 4055 chips.

Unfortunately that doesn't last long when my AJ on the button loses a bidding war on a J-high board with 3 diamonds by the turn. I fold reluctantly, but still have 2625.

45 minutes in, 401 casualties. They can't drop fast enough for my liking.

I am dealt JJ on the very next hand and raise it up to 240. I have two callers, but position on both. The board is ten high, and the player before me raises all in with 300-some chips. I call and take down 1430 when his A9 fails to improve. Back to 3500. For a tight player like me, this has left me feeling a little roller-coaster like, so I've vowed to wait for some premium cards/position for a while. We will see how long that lasts.

Other than a single limp/fold in the SB, I manage to fold all my crap and stay out of any tangles until the first break.

First hour gone, 735 casualties.

I have 3340 in chips - not great, but above the starting count and still comfortable with 50/100 blinds. Basically 30% of the field is now gone and the top 20% of remaining players get paid. I dislike the first hour. Too many people are willing to push in with nothing just to double up, and a large number of them inevitably hit. Yes it can be argued that we want them to push in with nothing, but I don't want to take the chance they will hit this early on.

Play has slowed down considerably in the second hour. It is obvious a good percentage of the donks have busted and we are left with a group of TAGs and LAGs, at least here on my table. I lost a considerable hand which has brought my stack back down to 2500 or so. I've left my comfort zone and am just waiting patiently for some opportunities. I feel as though I've lost my ability to bluff on this table (if I ever was able to) since two or more people are calling me down with less-than-stellar hands each time and I'm not willing to toss them all in yet. Fortunately the blinds are still going to be low throughout this hour, so it will be simply a test of patience until I have an opportunity to gain some more chips. I've noticed that I have slipped into a weak-passive mode right now, and though I don't like it I'm going to wait it out - it usually doesn't last too long.

1.5 hours in - 1500 players remain which means there have been 1076 casualties. Blinds are going up to 80/160.

I shook off the passive feeling and started playing a bit more aggressive, earning myself a few chips back so I am a bit more comfortable, though my stack is still nothing to speak of. With the current blinds I will have to make a move in the next few rounds. I'm beginning to be concerned about the necessity of doubling up at this point, but at the very least I need to win a few smaller pots to stay in contention.

The play at my table has started to really open up. Players are all of a sudden pushing all-in with sub-standard hands and three decent stacks have been eliminated within 2 minutes. I am reminded that I would rather be sitting here with less than average chips, but still in the game. Actually, I don't believe I have ever cashed in a tournament where I wasn't short(er) stacked throughout a good portion of it. That or I am just telling myself that to feel better, but either way it is working and I am feeling more comfortable again.

1 hour and 40 minutes in, we have 1000 players to go until the bubble.

Almost half the field is gone, and almost 1/3 of the remaining players will be ITM. I have an M of about 6-7, so will be making a move sooner rather than later. Unfortunately all I have seen are unsuited low cards for the better part of this hour. I am just praying for a table change, I'm not liking this one at all. Why? They are simply pissing me off. I don't have a better reason that that I am afraid.

Ask and you shall receive. Not one minute after writing that I got moved. There are two stacks less than me, two large stacks, and everyone is sitting somewhere in between. Much better.

One hour and 45 minutes in, I'm sitting at 15% of hands seen - that is low, even for me. I really need some cards.

Table change again - this one has even lower stacks. I am feeling more in my element. Cards are still eluding me though.

I have finally played two hands. I was dealt AT and ended up all-in against 99. Unfortunately, I didn't catch an A or a T. Fortunately, the board made a flush so I split the pot. 8 lives left.

Two hands later I am dealt AQ on the button and it is folded around to me. I push all in and scoop the blinds. Second break is in 9 minutes.

2 hours in. 982 remaining, we have 631 to go until the bubble.

And just seconds after typing that, I go out in 928th place when ATd kills my pair of queens. I am disappointed in the results, obviously, but I am more upset at my play. I was overcome by a sense of weakness throughout this tournament which is very out of character for me. There are times when I don't bother even look at my cards, I play purely positional, and I was unable to fall into that mindset at any point in this game other than maybe during the first half-hour, but even then I had the cards to back me up.

Not a victory, by any means. Just another lesson.